Wednesday, 19 October 2016
Tuesday, 18 October 2016
EXT. HOUSE - DAY
Camera moves towards the house.
My name is Barbara, but no one calls me that. People call me Babs.
INT. HOUSE – HALLWAY – DAY
Door opens slowly and camera goes into the house, a messy hallway is on show.
I'm a cleaner and I’ve been a cleaner for 18 years. People say, ‘Babs, how can you stand it, cleaning up everyone’s else mess?’ But it’s like I tell them, ‘Someone has to do it.’
EXT. BARBARA'S HOUSE – HALLWAY – DAY
Camera is pointed at a the front door pans down to see a handbag and cleaning supplies. Handbag open and items on show.
Anyway, I like it. I like things nice and tidy. Some people don’t like fish. For me, it’s mess. If I see so much as a coffee ring on a glass-top table, it’s got to go. I keep wet wipes in my handbag just in case. People laugh at me.
Camera pans back to show a really neat and tidy hallway.
‘Babs’, they say, ‘Sit down and relax’ or ‘Babs, leave it! It doesn’t matter,’ but it does matter. It’s like mum always said, ‘Cleanliness is next to Godliness’ – now there was a woman with an immaculate hallway.
INT. HOUSE – HALLWAY – DAY
Camera moves down the hallway, camera rotates right and enters the room. Camera pans around the home office.
My big brother told me about the job. He laughed at the time. He said, ‘Babs, it’s right up your street. You’ll get to wear your rubber gloves.’ He was teasing me, but I didn’t mind. Mum was always so proud of him. He looked so smart in his uniform. ‘It’s not so different from you pushing the hoover around at home,’ he said, and he was right about that, more or less.
INT. BARBARA'S HOUSE – BEDROOM – DAY
Camera show table in bedroom, with all items lined up nice and neatly, camera pans around and lands on the lanyard hanging on the mirror.
The cleaning company I work for is really big. I have to wear a lanyard with my picture on it. We get sent to lots of different places. Everywhere we go is a different job, so you need to be flexible. Hand on heart, nothing surprises me any more. I’ve seen it all.
INT. HOUSE – HOME OFFICE – DAY
Camera leaves home office through the door it came in. Camera crosses hallway and goes into the opposite room. Camera pans around the games room show mess.
I’m not going to lie. It's upsetting, walking into someone else’s home and seeing how it’s been left, the state of it. I think to myself, ‘How can people live like this?’ I mean there’s mess and then there’s mess – and sometimes… Well, I keep my opinions to myself. I’m a professional. People sometimes ask me about it. They say, ‘But Babs, what’s it like?’
INT. BARBARA'S HOUSE – DAY
Camera rotates away from the lanyard, showing a open empty suitcase and a sun hat.
It's not a bad paying job, I suppose because it’s not for everyone. I get to go on holiday twice a year – I like the sun. People say I’m a lovely colour. They’re always saying to me, ‘Bab’s, too much sun isn’t good for you,’ and I tell them ‘Trust me, there’s worse ways to go.’
INT. HOUSE – GAME ROOM – DAY
Camera leaves through the games room door into the living room. Camera rotates around showing the whole living room.
No, it’s not exactly fun. It's bloody hard work at times. On really bad jobs, I get through it by listening to Elvis on my headphones. Elvis was mum’s cleaning music, you see. She loved him. I once caught her dancing around the hoover to Blue Suede Shoes.
Camera moves towards the kitchen and move around the breakfast bar.
You’d be surprised. A lot of the places I get to work in are really posh, much nicer than anything I’m used to. It’s been a real eye-opener, let me tell you and it just goes to show – it doesn’t matter where you live or how expensive your sofa, people can still make a terrible mess of everything.
Camera moves back across the living room towards the stairs. Camera heads up the stairs and stops halfway to take another look at the living room and kitchen.
My first job was the worst. I imagine everyone says that. That was one of those nice houses – you know, big, lovely pictures on all the walls, lots of wood everywhere, flowers in vases, that sort of thing. There wasn’t much to do downstairs. The furniture was knocked over and there was red wine on the carpet. Some of the kitchen drawers had been pulled out. There was cutlery all over the floor. One funny thing I noticed was all the family pictures were face down.
Camera continues up the stairs to the door right in front.
I went upstairs towards the bedroom. ‘In there,’ they told me. I got to the door and put my mask on. It was a real mess in there, but like I said someone had to do it.
Camera goes through the door to show you the crime scene.
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